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We cannot always choose our circumstances, but we can choose how we respond. If you’re looking for a happiness hack, try focusing on gratitude and appreciation.
A stoic philosopher named Epictetus who lived in first-century Rome believed happiness and freedom begin with a clear understanding of one principle: some things are within our control, and some things are not.
Probably the most important thing in our power is our mindset–that is, how we choose to approach life. When we go through life practicing gratitude and showing appreciation, we feel happier (and we often make others happier, too).
Gratitude is a feeling of thankfulness within yourself. Appreciation is something you extend to others. When we consistently focus on the positive aspects in any situation, we train our brains to look for what’s possible instead of what’s not. And when we let others know how they’ve made our lives better, we reinforce those actions and build strong connections with each other.
Turns out that practicing gratitude not only lifts our mood, it can make us physically healthier. According to Harvard University Health, recent research shows that more gratitude leads to greater emotional and social well-being, better sleep quality, lower depression risks, and favorable markers of cardiovascular health.
The holidays are a wonderful time to start a gratitude practice for both kids and adults. Here are some ideas to get you started.
Gratitude Jar
Create a regular ritual of having everyone in the family jot down something they are grateful for on a slip of paper and putting it in a mason jar. Every so often, pull the slips and read them together.
Daily Dinner-time Routine
Before starting dinner, have each person share something from the day that they’re grateful for or share something they appreciate about someone at the table.
Gratitude Journal
This could be a bedtime routine, ending the day by writing something good that happened that day or something to be thankful for in general. If children are not old enough to write, parents can write for them. If children have a hard time coming up with things to be grateful for, parents can make a few suggestions (e.g., how good it feels to be in a cozy bed or the wonderful smell of the earth after it rains).
At Kelseyville Unified School District, we encourage students to share their appreciation for each other–and we do the same as adults. In the classroom, some teachers do “shout outs” encouraging students to share their appreciation for each other out loud. And school staff use tokens to acknowledge students. This shows appreciation for students who make good choices and are a positive influence on campus.
For our staff, each month we present a Knight in Shining Armor award to teachers and other employees based on nominations from their coworkers. I feel really lucky to work in this district, where it often feels more like a big family than a workplace.
There are plenty of books and games that teach children (and the rest of us) about gratitude. Visit healthyhappyimpactful.com/gratitude-activities-for-kids for more ideas. If you’re a teacher, check out weareteachers.com/meaningful-gratitude-activities for gratitude activities you can do in the classroom.