Making Social Media a Little Less Miserable

By Mike Jones, KHS Principal and Adriana Macias-Rodriguez, KHS Vice Principal

Whether we like it or not, social media is here to stay. It has become part of modern-day life for just about everyone, including our students. According to a recent Pew Research Study, 95 percent of teens in the U.S. between the ages of 13 and 17 have access to a smartphone, with more than a third admitting they use one or more of the major social media platforms “almost constantly." That adds up to a lot of screen time–about 7.5 hours per day for the average child according to Common Sense Media.

To be fair, social media has some benefits that deserve mentioning. It gives kids a way to connect with their peers, especially around shared interests and hobbies. Students can also discover resources and opportunities for learning, and get timely information from school staff and teachers. Social media platforms can even be a great outlet for creative expression.

Unfortunately, the consequences often outweigh the benefits. Social media can significantly impact children’s mental and physical health. After staring at their phones late into the night, students come to school the next morning tired with poor posture and fatigued eyes, making it difficult for them to focus in class. And that’s just the beginning. More serious problems, such as the skyrocketing rates of depression and anxiety among teenagers, are also being tied to social media, in part because of the ever-present cyberbullying that occurs. And kids are so used to doing everything online these days that they don’t hang out in person as often, leading to feelings of isolation.

As much as some of us would love to ban smartphones altogether, it just isn’t realistic. They’ve become an essential part of how we all connect, whether it’s staying in touch with family or communicating with employers. Instead, at Kelseyville Unified, we take proactive measures to encourage kids to use phones and social media responsibly.

To start, we have a policy at Kelseyville High School that prohibits phone use during class, with strict consequences for breaking the rules, including a loss of phone privileges. We also address social media head-on by engaging students and families with initiatives like our Kindness Campaign and events like Family Night Out, where guest speakers provide information and share resources about cyberbullying and responsible social media use. Earlier this month, for example, Monique Turner from the nonprofit Family Purpose led a discussion about the negative effects of social media with great tips on how to safeguard our children.

But we can only do so much here at school. We ask parents to do what we cannot: to take an active role in managing their kids’ social media use.

It all starts with being interested and involved. Think about all the time your kids spend online. Do you know what they’re looking at or who they’re talking to? One way to find out is to ask. Social media is an enormous part of their world, so knowing about their social media can let you know a lot about what is influencing their decisions. Be proactive instead of waiting for something bad to happen. Start a conversation about what they’re doing online.

If you believe your children are dealing with negative consequences from excessive social media use, a conversation is a good start, but might not be enough. Consider setting boundaries on their social media use – and maybe their phone use altogether. It can be hard to know where the privacy line is as a parent. You want to trust your kids, but you also need to know they’re safe and healthy. Trust your instincts.

Perhaps you designate certain times when your kids can and can’t use their phones or encourage them to pursue activities that don’t require screens. Scheduled social media breaks can help normalize spending time without a device. You can even incentivize the appropriate use of social media. Just make sure you’re being an upstanding digital citizen yourself. Kids see what family members post on social media and how they interact with others, and they’re likely to mirror that behavior.

Each child has a unique relationship with their phone. Some kids can handle more screen time, others less, but when it comes to social media, they all need monitoring. Start by taking an interest in what they’re doing online while keeping an eye on their physical and mental health. A few questions and a few boundaries can help make sure that social media creates more good than trouble in your child’s life.